Many people do not think they want to kill their relationships, yet they may be doing just that without even knowing it.
It is through relationships that we are hurt and in relationships we are healed.
The relationships that hurt us may have been when we were younger and we were unaware of the hurt or how to deal with it. This hurt affected our emotions, thoughts, opinions and how we look at others and life.
The encounter may be just one of hundreds of things that created roadblocks as we grew up that sucks the life out of us. Until we recognize some of those roadblocks, it is difficult to change them. Many times we may try to simply stop doing them. Sometimes it is easier said than done! However, it is a good starting place. Awareness brings light to the subject so that it may be addressed.
When you are aware or recognize that a problem exists, you have a choice to make. Do I address it and walk through a yielding and healing process or do I live in denial and run away from the pain?
One of the hardest things in life is to admit that we are unable to fix or resolve our problems by ourselves. We start to isolate and think that we can get one of those “Relationships for Dummies” self-help books and follow the steps to wholeness.
But it does not work like that; instead, our independent attitude leads us into a deeper indulgence of the hurtful thoughts or actions without us even knowing it. We start to think that we can do this and no one will know that we are struggling with this issue. That is fine until the “Issue” hits the fan and the relationship roadblock falls on you, crushing your efforts, emotions, and ego. At that point desperation sets in and you start to wonder if you will ever find hope or healing for your pain.
Awareness starts with acknowledging the problem and your need for help while facing your DENIAL head on. I commend your courage in addressing your issue because that is the beginning of hope and change.
Dr. Phil (TV psychologist) states that Denial is: Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying to myself and others. This powerful realization is one of the strategies for healing that can begin the process of yielding and healing in your life and relationships.