Are you burned out on life? If you are the partner of a sex addict–chances are good that you are. Have you been taking care of everything, trying to keep it all together? Are you ready to throw in the towel, and give up? Are you frustrated that nothing ever seems to work out? When addiction is at the core of your relationship, there is little room for success. If you and your partner have been to marriage counseling, and it hasn’t worked–maybe it is time to try a new strategy.
It is so easy to blame the addict for all the problems. I thought it was all my husband’s fault that our marriage was a mess. At first I thought it was his addiction that was destroying our relationship. When I started in a partner’s group, I was angry that my husband’s problem had caused me to have to seek recovery. It was in group that I learned that I had enough problems all on my own–apart from my husband’s addiction. I began to connect with how much I had enabled my husband’s behaviors–meaning that I had fixed and rescued right into allowing him to continue in his addiction. I thought I was doing what was right, but in reality I was just perpetuating the addiction. If my marriage had not survive, it would have been as much my fault as it was my husband’s.
Many partners don’t even realize the necessity of getting their own recovery. Let me assure you, it is very important, and if you don’t understand why–stay tuned.