A coach working with a local hockey club was arrested on suspicion of Internet sexual exploitation of minors. This coach turned himself into the local county jail and is being held without bond.
This coach’s deviant behavior has been connected to 13 potential victims or witnesses with additional potential witnesses and victims. This coach’s sexual behavior has been under investigation since 2009 with five of the victims younger than 15 years old.
A local president of a prominent sports organization stated that he was “shocked” when he was informed about the coach’s arrest, behavior and age of the potential victims.
Sexual predators and perpetrators are all around us every day. The sad part is that many are not willing to address their harmful behaviors until they are caught. Sexual predators are sexually addicted—with pornography usually at the core of their behaviors. Sexual addiction is always progressive; (like an alcoholic needs to drink more to get the same affect), the sex addict will take more and more risks to get the same feelings, as well.
This is no different than my sexually deviant behavior of going to strip clubs and video stores. Sure, I can justify my behavior as not harming anyone or “what I do in private” is my business and harms no one. It is like that old advertisement “what goes on in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas.” Not True! I have struggled with porn and fantasies since I was eight, which progressed to illicit and destructive sexual behaviors.
All my life I lied, deceived, and hid the truth, hoping that no one would ever notice. Am I different than this hockey coach? I have not sexually abused anyone or ruined any lives. Or have I? He lied, I lied. He deceived others, I deceived others. He destroyed lives, and I destroyed my marriage and my family with the choices I made. I can see that our lives followed a similar, caustic pattern.
Are you hurting others by your lying, deceitfulness or secrets? Do your loved ones feel disconnected or distant from you?